Why me

Iam a 29 year old female and was burn in a house fire at 6 months old. My brother was playing with matches and our house caught fire. I suffered from 3rd, 4th, and 5th degree burns over about 89% of my body. I also lost all of my fingers on my left hand, the ones on the right are deformed; my face was disfigured. I lived my life the best that I could learning to accept and love my scars. The problem is that loving myself in this world is hard, it contradicts everyday I walk out of my house what I believe about myself. Although I don't consider myself a burn victim, I feel like one. I have no friends, I try and try, but Iam at a place in my life with all that has happened to me dealing with people, I DONT TRUST ANYONE! every relationship has ended one way or another, my part in the ones that had potential is that I have been beat up by life so badly that I dont think I am worth being loved. I believe that your worth is determined by how you look. You can have everything going bad, but as long as you have your appearence, you can get somewhere. I am tired of the platitudes that everything will be ok, that there is someone for everyone. I am 29 and don't know what love from a man looks like. All of the ones I have had could not deal with my appearance. One guy recently told me that I need to understand that every man is going to have a difficulty accepting me because of my appeacence. I believe him. Why would a man want to spend time understanding and accepting someone who has been through what I have when they can easily find someone who is "normal" My courage and strength has gotten me far in life, I ve done motivational speaking, I am finishing my Master's in psychology, I have learned that in order for people to accept me and not see my pain, I could never show it. I always had to work tens time harder to put on a front. Behind closed doors, I cry every night, wishing for a better life, of friends, a relationship, I don't know any of that for myself. People just stare and don't think twice about getting to know me. I think that I am attractive, but living in todays world where appearance is everything I don't stand a chance of finding that person. I am so hopeless, all I want is a family, which I have a son, but I want someone to see pass the scars. Its always said that no one can love you until you love yourself, well what if you know who you are, love yourself, but are rejected every single day with unsolicited stares and people constantly laughing and treating you like you don't exsist. That is my life. I put myself out there and constantly am rejected or taken advantage of. I am currently in a relationship with a man who wants nothing out of life, who is everything that I don't really want, what keeps me holding on is the fear of being alone, and because he is the only man who accepts me for me. I get nothing from the relationship but he accepts me. I am someone who has always believed in the value of standards because all my life I believed that I was worth and deserved the best, but what I have come to learn is that I don't qualify for it because I don't look the part. I have come to the irrationalzaition that beggers can't be choosie, I know how to be alone and have accepted it to this point in my life, but fear it an am tired of living it. My whole life I have felt and have been alone, its all I know how to be. I am tired of people telling me it's ok, God understands, well if he does, then why is it so easy for everyone else to prosper, find love, but I who have done everything I was suppose to in life, learned to live above what I look like, can't get people to want me or want to befriend me. What is living without human relationships. No matter where I am I am always alone, and always rejected. I stopped wasting my time putting myself out there because in the end I may meet people, but they never stay around, or I am the one always having to persue. People are afraid of me and I am the one who feels guilty and ashamed for making them feel that way by exposing my face. I am so depressed, and wonder every day why am I here, why is living this life worth it, if I have to watch life pass me by and can't have what's inside of it because I don't have the privilage of an appearenace.